In the Weeds

What to do when life gets tangled — and why it’s not the end of the story

A number of Mother’s Days ago, when the kids were still little, Pam decided what she wanted to do to celebrate.

“Let’s go canoeing.”

It was a hot Sunday afternoon, and we headed out to paddle through the mangroves. Lauren was in the front of my canoe, my son was in the front of Pam’s, and we pushed off. If you’ve ever been in a canoe, you know the deal: if both people aren’t paddling together, you start working against each other. You spin. You drift. You go nowhere.

Lauren and I were a little ahead when suddenly I heard it:

“Mom! Mom! Mom!”

I turned around and saw Pam laughing, which meant she was doing absolutely nothing to steer, while my son’s canoe headed straight into the mangroves. Low branches. Tight brush. No clearance. He looked like he was trying to do limbo in a life jacket. Next thing you know, they were stuck. We paddled back, helped them out, and laughed about it later. Getting stuck in the weeds can make for a funny story when it happens on the water. But getting stuck in the weeds in life? That’s a different story.

When Life Gets Tangled

In everyday language, being “in the weeds” means you’re overwhelmed, stuck, or tangled in something you didn’t plan.

Sometimes it’s work.
Sometimes it’s a relationship.
Sometimes it’s your health, your finances, or even your own thoughts.

And the experience is rarely funny when you’re in it.

You feel tangled and frustrated, wondering how you got there in the first place.

People standing on the outside love to say, “Just get out of it.”

As if you haven’t thought of that.

The problem is, when we’re in the weeds, our instincts usually make things worse.

• We fight harder — and get more tangled.

• We worry — and the worry multiplies.

• We freeze — because we don’t know what’s underneath the surface.

It’s like pulling on a fishing line that’s caught on the rocks. The harder you yank, the tighter it gets.

So, the question isn’t whether you’ll end up in the weeds at some point. You will. The real question is: What do you do when you’re there?

Four Things That Help When You’re in the Weeds

Over the years, I’ve noticed there are a few principles that consistently help people move through messy seasons. They’re not quick fixes, but they’re reliable.

1. Vision — Seeing Beyond the Moment

When you’re stuck, your focus narrows. All you see is the problem right in front of you.

Vision is the ability to step back and look beyond the obvious.
It’s perspective.

It’s asking:

• What might this situation be teaching me?

• What options am I not seeing yet?

• Where could this lead if I handle it well?

You don’t need all the answers.
You just need to widen the frame.

2. Strategy — Choosing Your Next Step

When we’re overwhelmed, we tend to react instead of think. We flail. We rush. We make things messier.

Strategy is simply deciding, “What’s the next best step?” Not the perfect step, just the next one. Try something, adjust, then try again.

Progress out of the weeds is rarely dramatic — it’s usually incremental.

3. Allies — Not Doing It Alone

This is the one most people resist.

We like to think we can figure everything out ourselves. But isolation makes weeds thicker.

Sometimes what you need is:

• A sounding board

• A partner

• Someone who sees what you can’t

No one gets through complicated seasons alone — even the strongest, most capable people.

Support isn’t weakness.
It’s leverage.

4. Endurance — Staying in the Game

This might be the hardest one. Because when you’re tired, discouraged, or embarrassed by where you are, quitting starts to look appealing.

Endurance isn’t dramatic. It’s quiet persistence. It’s saying: “I’m not there yet, but I’m not done.”

Sometimes the only difference between people who move through the weeds and those who stay stuck is simple: they keep going.

The SAVE Reminder

If you like frameworks, here’s an easy way to remember them:

S — Strategy
A — Allies
V — Vision
E — Endurance

When you’re in the weeds, these four things can help you find your way back to open water.

One More Thought

Sometimes, we tend to think the goal is to avoid messy seasons altogether, but life doesn’t work that way.

The goal is to learn how to move through them — without panic, without shame, and without assuming you’re the only one who’s ever been stuck, because you’re not. Everyone you admire has spent time in the weeds. They just didn’t stay there.

And neither will you.